


What You Deserve

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Series: Tumblr Prompts [38]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood & Catarina Loss Friendship, Feels, Gen, Good Friend Catarina Loss, M/M, POV Catarina Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 10:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18364406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: Catarina has her hand on the door when the sound of Alec’s voice reaches her, just loud enough for her to make out most of the words through the closed door. She doesn’t mean to invade his privacy but she stops to listen instinctively.





	What You Deserve

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: cat hearing alec talk to magnus and being so glad her best friend is so loved

With the update from the Silent Brothers in hand, Catarina wastes no time returning immediately to the New York Institute with the news. She knows how impatiently Alec’s been waiting for it, the text every half an hour on the dot asking for any updates - knowing full well that she’d let him know the moment she had one - is a clear sign of the anxiety he feels over Magnus’ condition. She feels it too, but Alec is counting on her to find answers and the rest of the Institute is counting on him, so neither of them get the luxury of showing it. 

At least, not around others. She has her hand on the door when the sound of Alec’s voice reaches her, just loud enough for her to make out most of the words through the closed door. She doesn’t mean to invade his privacy but she stops to listen instinctively. 

_ “Magnus, I - I don’t know if you can hear me. This is my fault. I was selfish. When you first lost your powers and you said you were okay with it I-- I didn’t think twice.”  _

Her heart aches for him. It isn’t his fault, and she’ll have to tell him that. Magnus is extremely skilled at hiding his true feelings. He can’t possibly be blamed when his boyfriend likely covered any sign that he was falling apart enough to take the risk he did. He covered it up with smiles at all the right moments, with trips around the city every day and busying himself with breakfast and errands. He didn’t stop long enough for anyone to catch on to just how not okay he was, herself included. She suspected, but… 

_ “Magnus I was just so happy that maybe we could... grow old together.”  _

“Oh, Alec,” Cat sighs to herself, a soft smile on her face. She knows this song and dance - it isn’t the first time she watched Magnus give his heart to a mortal lover, and she’s had her share of involvements as well. They all end the same, though, and she understands Alec’s relief at the idea that maybe instead of growing old without Magnus they could share in that experience together. It’s an innocent enough desire, despite the implications of carrying it out. But the fact that he thought that growing old with him might be enough to cancel out any of the other pain… she doesn’t see it as a sign of hubris. It’s a sign of how much Magnus means to him - that to him, growing old with Magnus would be more than enough. Alec is more than happy to have a future where he might be the one taking care of Magnus, and not the other way around, and not many people involved with an immortal can say the same. 

Her heart warms at the notion. A small part of her was worried that Alec might not stay with Magnus after he lost his magic, because this isn’t what he signed up for. This isn’t the life he imagined when he first started dating the High Warlock of Brooklyn, first stripped of his title then of his powers. Catarina never admitted this to Magnus, of course, but she worried that it might be too much for Alec on top of everything else he had on his plate already. 

She’s never been happier to be proven wrong.  _   
_ _   
_ __ “I guess I just didn’t realize -  deep down how much you were suffering.” 

Cat knows she can’t stay outside much longer. She’s already lingered too long, listening in on words that aren’t meant for her… but she needed to hear them, too. She needed to know that Magnus is in good hands. She knows they love each other, but mostly from Magnus’ side of things. And she trusts his judgment, of course she does, and she sees the way Alec is with Madzie and hears the way she raves about him every time she picks the little girl up from Magnus and Alec’s loft… so of course she  _ knows _ . But the confirmation is reassuring.   
_   
_ _ “Magnus I love you, more than anyone in the world, and-- I’m, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”  _

There’s no doubt in her mind that Alec Lightwood does, in fact, love Magnus Bane more than anyone in the world. More than  _ anything _ in the world, Shadow or otherwise, and any small part of her that doubted that fact is silenced now. This is what Magnus needs. It’s what he deserves. To have someone by his side, 24/7, no matter how good or bad of a condition he’s in. This is a small taste of the Alec that Magnus sees, the Alec that Magnus knows and trusts and loves, and after listening to him here she can see what he sees that much clearer. 

Alec is hunched over when she steps through the door but he straightens almost immediately, a hand dropping down from his face where was clearly wiping away tears only a moment before. 

_ “May I come in?”   
_ __   
When he stands to greet her it’s with a resigned sigh, arms crossed in front of him, closed off to the emotion he allowed himself just a moment before. The person he is around Magnus, conscious or otherwise, isn’t the same as the person he shows to the world around him. Even to her, knowing how much she cares for Magnus, too. This isn’t weeping boyfriend Alexander, it’s Head of the Institute Alexander Lightwood, and he’s looking for an update on Magnus’ condition. 

What he wants to hear - what he needs to hear - isn’t a pat on the back over being a good boyfriend; it’s news on the man in the bed next to them. So instead of joining in with tears of her own, touching on the words she overheard, she follows his lead and turns to the business at hand. 

The rest can wait, she reasons, positive that Alec isn’t going anywhere any time soon. 

**Author's Note:**

> (Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com) and also on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell) while we all hang out waiting for someone to #SaveShadowhunters ! <3)


End file.
